As my spiritual practies have gotten deeper, the nature of any definition has kept dissolving, keeps dissolving. Until I would say I don't have nay definition of who I am. If somebody said who are you, I don't know. And i'm not being facetious, I'm just not busy doing that anymore. -Ram Dass
For a long time, I made it a defining characteristic that I love people and make an effort for them to know it or see it no matter how our current relationship is. Because if I've loved you in the past, you have helped shape who I am today and I am grateful for you. I struggled not being able to tell the people I love that I love them because what-if something happens and I never get the chance again, so I wanted to say it while we are still here. This rather morbid perspect has become a tug-of-war when letting people go. Until today, when I realized that as long as I take every opportunity I have to share my love with the people closest to me, and I love myself, then everyone who I have ever loved gets a piece of that energy, because I would not be able to do so now without them. Taking space to be angry and to fight is ok as long as I am fighting with love for myself and with respect, because while we may never know what is to come and when our last day is, it is important to love yourself first. My take away is to be ok with letting people I still want to love go so I can redirect the love to myself and amplify my love for the people who show up.